AYE, AYE, AYE, Enjoy

Over the off season, there weren’t a lot of moves made by the Brewers to strengthen their starting pitching rotation.  They lost a bidding war with the Yankees for CC Sabathia, the man that almost single handedly delivered the Brewers into their first October games in 25 years.  Long time pitching ace Ben Sheets also left the Brewers to pursue free agency.

However, there was a reason for hope…and that name that gave people hope was Gallardo.  Yovani Gallardo is a young guy with a great arm who has had some unfortunate non-throwing arm injuries over the past couple of years.  This year was going to be his year.  He was going to be our “ace”, our bull, our leader on the mound.  We added Braden Looper, who is a solid middle to back-end of rotation pitcher and should benefit from the Brewers tendency to put up bigger numbers offensively.  Other than that, the organization believed that our starting rotation was fine.

Boy, were they wrong.

The Brew Crew has given up 49 runs in 8 games, which is the second most in the National League.  The team is 2-6 and nobody has really looked that good in the whole pitching staff yet.  To be fair though, Braden Looper and Dave Bush have not had their second starts of the season and both of their first starts ended up as a no decision for them (but Looper’s ERA is 1.80 vs. Bush’s 6.14).

I wish that I could say that the pitching woes are only found in the starting rotation, but that wouldn’t be the truth in any way, shape, or form.  Our relievers have been just as shaky.  Our pitching staff also leads, not just the National League but all of Major League Baseball, in walks with 42 free rides issued thus far.  Control is obviously an issue, and there are a lot of relatively young arms in the mix that are really trying to find themselves and their true roles after CC walked in and showed every little boy what a man looks like.

I have a few ideas on how we can fix the pitching problem, but none of them are immediate “today” type of scenarios.

First, we have to wait to see if the pitching woes of Milwaukee will straighten themselves out.  Shuffle the lineup.  They are already making a great decision in holding Jeff Suppan back from making his third start of the year.  If he keeps bombing, throw Seth McClung in there as a starter.  He began last year as a starter and has a strong arm.  Maybe tag team McClung and Suppan as “co-starters” and let McClung power it out for 3 innings or so and then let Suppan finesse them for 3 innings or so.  I know that pitchers need a “groove” to be successful, but honestly, I believe that it’s more psychological then physical…so they need to toughen up their psyche a bit and start looking mean even if they feel like limp noodles.

Second, if the Brewers can manage to hover around a .500 winning percentage without going much lower than 10 games under that mark, they obviously have a real fighting chance for a second-half turn around if they make some good moves.  If the Central division isn’t as strong as it was last year, they may be able to play for a division title, but if the Cubs are going to be as good as expected, they have to make sure that the wild-card spot is obtainable and a reasonable goal…and not just a brief excuse to get the fans and locker room excited.

If all is right, some trades are going to need to be made so that the boys of summer can reach the fall again, and it’s going to have to be more substantial then getting one guy and hoping he can do it all like CC did.

Trade Idea # 1:  Prince Fielder for an Ace, straight up or with a draft pick/minor league attachment

We can bring up Mat Gamel and let him play first base.  He won’t be any worse than Prince at fielding that position and there shouldn’t be much drop off in bat power.

The new ace can come in and directly replace whoever is struggling the most in the rotation, with that individual being relegated to a relief role.

Trade Idea # 2:  Trade Jeff Suppan and Alcides Escobar for an Ace or a very strong # 2

Suppan has struggled ever since he came to Milwaukee and he has been getting worse.  He obviously is either done, or needs a change of scenery.  The NL Central is a tough division and he could maybe benefit from an easier division.  I would try to sell that idea anyways.  No team would give up an ace for him alone, so I would attach our top prospect and the future at SS.  The Brewers seem completely committed to JJ Hardy, so Escobar is expendable.  Honestly, the real trade bait here is Escobar…I just really don’t care for Suppan and I want him gone.

We now have another starter in the rotation that is strong, and another arm can be relegated to the bullpen…making the bullpen stronger in my opinion because you now have more options.  Having options is always good.

Trade Idea # 3:  Trade a variation of relievers/prospects/draft picks to a team for an amazing set up guy

There are going to be plenty of bad teams out there with good pitchers that are in the “rebuilding” process and they are usually happy to trade away good players for the prospect of prospects and draft picks.  At least that’s how I think it goes because I grew up in Milwaukee and that’s what my team always did.  It took them a long time to field a good team that could put together a winning season, but it happened.

We haven’t seen if the Hoff is going to be a bust as a closer yet this season, but every closer needs a great set up guy.  In theory we have a great closer so we need to go out and find that set up guy who will deliver the game to T. Hoff with his save opportunity intact.

Like I said, if the Brewers aren’t too far behind, and they can pull something like this off in the trade world before the second half, they will show us that they once again are serious about making the playoffs.  Hopefully they stay away from “rentals” and get guys who will be with the team for at least 2 seasons.

If they get to the break and they aren’t set up with the ability to even try a run at the playoffs in the second half, they still might want to consider doing those trades…but they most certainly CANNOT be rentals then and they must have at least some time on their contracts after this season is up.

Again, things would have to work out rather well in order for something like what I’ve described to happen, but it could.

My hope is that they don’t write this season off and believe that they can wait until free agency hits next off season.  The free agent market is always so bloated and Milwaukee just can’t hang with paying guys that aren’t Superman $100,000,000…unless it’s for 20 years.

Whachall think?

The Gap Band – Outstanding

http://www.imeem.com/rnbmusic3/music/5JChQq7p/the-gap-band-outstanding/

Man, so many people have sampled this song…especially in the early 90′s.

PS, go get Charlie Wilson’s new album that came out like a month ago or something like that.

1.  Force is crucial to successful __________.  You want to keep whatever you are ___________ as close to you as possible because that allows you the ability to apply to a maximum amount of force without stressing your muscles to the point of strain.

2.  Position is another way you can assure yourself of having a proper __________.  There are many different postions in which you can ___________.  Some are better then others of course.  Some can maximize the use of your body while others can actually dimminish your stamina and ability.  You should explore as many positions as possible when the opportunity to __________ something comes along…as long as what you are __________ is something that you can take different positions with.  At times, you are going to want another person to help you __________ whatever you are __________.  If this is found to be acceptable by all parties involved, __________ away.

3.  Repetition is something that can only be successfully achieved when proper force and position are applied to what you wish to __________.  If your force and position are poor, you will not be able to repetitively __________.  The muscles in your legs, back, and stomach will tire more quickly when you are forced to do intense __________, and this is why you must have great position and stellar force.

By achieving the maximum levels of each of these 3 things, you will be able to __________ quickly, but extremely effectively.  Everybody around you will be pleased and surprised by your effectiveness and you will asked to ___________ again, over and over…thus ensuring you to be in high demand because you have a wonderful skill that many do not have, meaning they burn out more rapidly then you and sometimes can’t finish the job while you are always up for a good ___________.

Thank you.

*Wherever you see a __________, please insert “lifting”, “lift”, or some form of that word.  Gotcha bitches!

Orientation is something that all of us have had to endure…several times over in our lives.

We had to go through orientation for each school that we wished to attend, every job has some sort of orientation process, religious institutions have many opportunities to get orientated (especially if they have groups and programs), organizations in which we have become members have orientations, etc.

“Orientation” is really a one word way of saying “this is what is expected of you if you are to be a part of us”.

Fair enough.

I recently started a new job and I am still in the orientation process…actually, last night was my first night of orientation.  11 strangers were paraded into a room that had no life or ambiance whatsoever.  The company that employs me currently is a very large company with around 2,000,000 people in it’s organization.  Standardization and “your life is now ours” is very evident from the beginning because the Employee Relations Specialist is already cramming down our throats that __________ is all about the employee and seeks to make sure that it’s employees are the most happy that they can be while with __________.

They even showed us a video about how great __________ is to their employees.  It was priceless.  The levels of propaganda in the video were on par with the old propaganda videos from WWII…I mean, it was some heavy shit.  In one sceen the company was discussing how unions are evil and tell lies constantly against __________.  It showed sillouettes of people milling about angrily with picket signs and there was a lot of finger shaking going on.  These images were definately the focal point because the hosts of the video were off center and smaller then they had previously been.  It was as if we were being hypnotized by the images and the gentle voices of the man and woman in the video.  At one point the video, near the very end, one of the actors says something to the effect of “we do not see a use for unions and do not need them to represent us because we can represent ourselves” while swaying his head side to side…as if to make a gentle “no” motion.  I looked around and 3 of the people were actually swaying their head side to side ever so slightly…I was floored!  These mofos are GOOD.

After that brainwashing we were given the task of playing two giant boardgames in which we would learn the history of __________ while also building ourselves up as a team.  We were encouraged to not work or THINK as an indavidual, but rather to do what is best for the TEAM so that everybody can win and reap the benefits of a “job well done”.

The socialist overtones were so thick that Karl Marx himself would’ve been proud.

I again looked around at my co-workers while this team building exercise was going on and everybody seemed to have their mouths hanging open while being completely intent on singling out those who weren’t working together with the group for the greater good of the group.  I wanted to say something, but nobody in the room would’ve understood.

The end of the night came and it was now time for review.  The ERS began asking questions to which everybody replied with the answers simultaneously as if that’s how it had to be done.  A few questions in, I noticed that some of the questions were normal questions like “how can we ensure that our customers will have a positive experience everytime they walk into one of our stores?”  Well of course, the canned answers began coming out…and not being prone to too much socialism, I decided to speak up and answer…so I said “If a customer has children, don’t steal their children.”  This is not a wrong answer, however everybody looked at me as if I was wrong and the ERS said that “we are only looking for answers that we have covered tonight.”

Truth is only truth if you have previously taught me that it is truth.  Check.

Do not function outside of the bubble that we have provided for you.  Check.

The night came to a close and it was time to be excused.  The ERS asked if there was any questions and one of the people asked if they could have some extra information about insurance.  Well, she began digging and told us all that it’d be a minute or two.  Being the kind of person I am, and noticing that she had kept us 15 minutes later then we were scheduled (and having to meet my wife and in-laws for a late dinner), I asked if we could be dismissed.

“No.”

No?  Really?  Our business is done and I have to wait to leave now because Mr. Over-Concerned With Insurance That He Won’t Be Eligable For For A Year Anyways is what’s holding me up?  You can’t do that without us?  Apparently not.

Well, as Mr. Too Many Questions finally got his information, she finally decided to dismiss us…but insisted that all must leave as a group, and none of us tarry, because we are a “unit”.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think that I have either joined a para-military organization, a cult, or a fringe political party…or all three…or maybe even something more dubious.  Whatever it is, it’s giving me money to be there and from what it sounds like…you REALLY have to fuck up to lose your job.

I should be ok, I think.

I woke up this morning and started going through my daily routine and when I finally sat down at my computer I remembered that I had a great idea for a blog.  However, the idea was lost.  SHIT!

I thought as hard as I could and I just couldn’t pull the idea out of the air, wherever it went.  I feel like Tenacious D right now…I’m making a blog about a great blog that I can’t replicate, similar to their song that pays tribute to the greatest song ever played.

Whenever I get good ideas at night, I always tell myself that I’ll remember them in the morning…and I don’t.  You would think that I’d learn by now.

I hate my brain.  Fuck.

I want this one.

Kaley Cuoco

Eddie Murphy – Party All The Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDbpzjbXUZI&feature=related

 If this song isn’t one of your guilty pleasures…you should prolly get some exlax because you obviously need to loosen up.

Also…how many of you remember that Don Johnson (yes…dude of Miami Vice) did music and had some music videos out?

This one is an absolute classic (piece of shit) – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULI5kolBpAk&NR=1

We have all had experiences with the elderly population that have left us in awe of how THEY were ever able to build this country into the superpower that we were/are.

My most recent Elderly catastrophe involved 3 elderly people, 1 man and 2 women, at a local Snap Fitness.

Recently, I have become aware of the need to lead a more active in my lifestyle.  In order to do so, I researched several different gyms and organizations that offer fitness equipment (the Y) and I found that Snap Fitness was the best bang for the buck for what I need…which is a place where I can use a treadmill, some free weights, and do some circuit training.  It is also a 24 hour/7 days a week type of facility which is nice.  However, this means that the doors are often locked and require a security pass to get it during non business hours.

Well, at about 1:30pm, I left home to go to my local Snap Fitness and when I got there I discovered that the door was locked.  I was a little confused because the website said that all Snap Fitness locations had proper business hours and it was only 2pm.  It SHOULD be open so I could talk to somebody about giving them my money.  Well, a group of elderly people were standing just on the other side of the door talking to each other.  I gently tapped on the glass and smiled, hoping that my non-verbals were enough for them to approach the door and let me in.  NOPE!  They looked at me and then looked away and continued their conversation.

My mind began the explosion process at this point.

I again tapped on the glass door, but this time it was a decent knock.  They once again looked at me and I said “I’m here to get a membership, could you let me in?”

The man replied by saying “you don’t look like your here to get a membership.  I can’t let you in.”

I took a step back because I couldn’t believe what he just said to me.  I took a quick mental inventory of what I was wearing.  I had my typical black hat on, 3/4 to the back…a beige and navy blue rugby shirt on (so not even my typical black t-shirt)…and some baggy oil stained jeans…with white shoes.  My beard is trimmed close and lined up proper.

That screams “I don’t really want to better my physical…but what I DO want to do is fuck around with YOU people”?  Really?

At this point I was shaking I was so pissed off.  I back away from the door and positioned myself so that I could approach them once they left…and so I did.

With as much patience that I could muster I excused myself into their conversation and explained that I really was there to get a membership, pulled out several hundred dollars in 20s out of my pocket to show them that I’m not there to rob them, and told them that they could have had the decency to at least poke their heads out of the door to explain that the manager was on lunch and would be back soon.  I reminded them that common courtesy and NOT treating another human like a supposed delinquent goes much further then the opposite.

Well, that logic didn’t work with them.  The man then started to pull that “old man swagger” bullshit with me…he was on some ”Sonny boy” tone type shit.  He wagged his finger in the air at me and then made excuse after excuse for why he couldn’t basically treat me like a human.  Apparently, the club rules state that he has to be a major fuckwad to all outsiders, especially fat guys that look like they don’t belong and are younger then him by many decades.  He then ended his idiocy with “look, I’m not here to get into an argument with you.”  He then walked away.

I had to keep myself restrained from saying anything further because my eyes were starting to blur…and that is the precursor to me absolutely losing it.  So, I just walked away…and in retrospect, I’m glad I did of course.  No judge would’ve cleared me of the charges because I’d always be the punk kid picking on some innocent elderly people…and it will always go that way no matter how racist, sexist, prejudiced, bigoted, etc. they are.  They are always “innocent” old people.

I’m going to say this, and let me be real clear about it.  The elderly population can’t die off soon enough.

I’m really sorry if you have grandparents that are still alive and you think the world of them.  My advice is to stop that shit immediately and see them for who they are…no matter how good their homemade bread may be.  And what they are is a menace to society.

Straight up.